Back to School
“Back to School Aaugh-xiety”
During the late summer and fall, I dislike watching and hearing commercials advertising “Back to School” sales. I didn’t like them as a kid or college student. When I pastored, I felt a heavy pressure of dread. “Back to School” meant a long list potential problems, headaches, issues, or failures. It meant the end of a care free summer and the beginning of stressed filled days.
Of course, I enjoyed the times after Labor Day where I could reconnect with friends or gain knowledge from my seminary book list. I loved creating a new fall ministry and giving it a push to see if would reach new people and make committed disciples. Within my whole body, however, I just had this ominous fear that I would not be able to overcome that one unknown challenge or survive the blitz of negative talk. Soon I was imaging all sorts of worst-case scenarios. Anxiety fosters itself in the unknown. You may have had these thoughts: I don’t know what will happen to me when I walk into the room. I worry that the people I meet will not speak to me. I am fearful that someone might ask me to do something I can’t do or say something that will make me feel incapable or uncomfortable.
As I write, I feel anxiety bubble to the surface and my heart start to beat faster. Charlie Brown’s would shout, “Aaugh!! Darn, I’ve Aaugh-xiety again!”
Here’s what I do when I feel my anxiety start to clammer round like a bunch of pots and pans in my soul: I remind myself to take one minute to breath slowly and deeply. I want to slowly take my racing heartbeat down closer to my resting heart rate. However, your anxiety may be a blog deadline. It could be a major project due with the boss looking over your shoulder, a personal conflict, a hostile working environment, or a difficult person (family member or co-worker).
I find I’m most receptive to God’s voice in morning with a cup of coffee and my iPhone in the other room. This is desired primetime I want to give to God. God and Kurt connect. This intimate relationship provides me the divine peace, courage, and wisdom to face the “Back to School” situations that may stir up the anxiety below.
When I create a spiritual space each morning, I open my soul to give God the freedom to roam. I believe God desires to embrace me with love. I am a child of God created to be loved. I believe this divine presence fills not just my soul, but everything I touch, see, and read in those holy moments. I envision the Holy Spirit soothing my anxious soul and releasing a refreshing grace-filled fragrance that reduces my stress. For some people this might be difficult to experience, for in essence, you are giving yourself over to God and giving God full control of your life. You are allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
Jesus prayed in the early morning hours in Gethsemane. Jesus, in his human condition, needed to connect with God the Father for him to thrive with the people he met and do God’s will. The psalmist shares how we can pray during our morning prayers, “I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” (Psalm 59:16)
I use the above verse to give me a prayer focus. You may have a different verse that speaks more exactly to your anxious situation. Here’s two:
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:17
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
“Casting” is a continuing action. It is not a one and done. When I go fishing, I cast the line multiple times to find the spot where the fish might be in the water. When I sow grass seed in my yard, I don’t cast one seed a time. I take handfuls of seed and cast them generously along the ground where I want them to take root and grow. This “casting” of our cares is not because God is hard of hearing or too busy for him to acknowledge us. Casting is for our benefit.
I remind myself of a few things as I pray:
1) I do trust Jesus when I give my worry to him.
2) I do believe God does care and protect me when I give up my security blanket.
3) I can only control what I can control, and God has control over everything else.
As I “cast all my anxiety on Jesus,” I say this phrase throughout the day to allow my anxiety to pass through God’ presence: “My biggest fear is never greater than what God can handle.”
And sometimes our anxiety is bigger than what we can handle alone. This is when a person may need to seek professional help and have a counselor listen with compassion and provide the best coping skills and strategies to live a healthy life. Annie King Counseling might be a good option for you.
Here’s a “casting” prayer you can use this month:
God, you are my fortress. I find my refuge in you during my current state of anxiousness. Right now, I believe my present fear is never greater than what you, Jesus, can handle. I cast my “Back to School” anxiousness on you. In Jesus’ Amen.