Trust in a Committed Relationship
“The Science of Trust is a book written by Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist and relationship expert. In his book, he explores the dynamics of trust in committed relationships. Below are summaries of the eight positive dynamics to nurture a trusting environment.
#1 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Emotional Attunement
Dr. Gottman emphasizes the importance of emotional harmony, which involves partners being aware of each other’s emotions, understanding them, and responding in a supportive manner. This sympathetic response fosters a sense of connection and builds trust over time.
#2 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Bid for Connection
Partners constantly make bid for connections, which are essentially requests for attention, affirmation, or support. Responding positively to these bids strengthen the emotional bod and contributes to the development of trust.
#3 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Turning Toward Each Other
Success couples have a high rate of “turning toward” each other, meaning they are responsive and engaged when their partner makes a bid for connection. This positive responsiveness builds trust by creating a secure emotional connection.
#4 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Repair Attempts
Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but how couples handle these conflicts is crucial for trust. Gottman identifies “repair attempts” as efforts made to de-escalate tension and restore emotional connection during a conflict. Successful repair attempts contribute to trust by demonstrating a commitment to resolution and mutual understanding.
#5 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Consistency and Reliability
Trust is built through consistent and reliable behavior. Partners who consistently show up for each other, fulfill promises, and are dependable in both small and large matters contribute to a sense of security and trust.
#6 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Building Love Maps
A “Love Map” refers to the knowledge and understanding a partner has about the other’s inner world – dreams, fears, hopes, and values. Actively building and updating these Love Maps deepens emotional connection and reinforces trust.
#7 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Shared Meaning
Successful couples create shared meaning in their relationship. This involves developing shared goals, rituals, and a sense of purpose. Collaboratively building a life together fosters a sense of unity and strengthens trust.
#8 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Positive Sentiment Override
Dr. Gottman discusses the concept of "positive sentiment override," where partners interpret each other's actions and words in a positive light, assuming goodwill. This positive bias contributes to a more optimistic and trusting relationship.
By understanding and actively incorporating these principles into a relationship, couples can strengthen the foundation of trust and create a more fulfilling and enduring connection. It’s important to note that building trust is an ongoing process that requires effort and commitment from both partners.
Are you in place in your relationship where you feel you need to regain trust or foster greater trust in your committed relationship? You may visit anniekingcounseling.com to request to make an appointment or ask questions. Be encouraged.