It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad World!
We live in a mad, mad, mad world! Chronic stress may cause a person to do mad things. Did you recently hear this road rage story? One driver overtook another car that cut him off and caused both to stop. The enraged driver jumped out of the car with a 12-gauge shotgun. He walked up to the seated driver and pointed the gun in his face saying, “Don’t ever cut anyone off again!” Was the driver mad at the man or the world?
Anger issues? Chronic stress? Obnoxious Personality Disorder (OBD)? Injustice felt or seen?
Anger expressed at the wrong time or place harms others. Anger expressed in healthy ways, without harm to self or others, demonstrates maturity and honesty.
What triggers anger? Let me share a few statements:
· What you are not allowed to talk about might the source of your anger! Keep the secret.
· What you are not allowed to do might be the source of your anger! Overlook injustice.
· What you believe to be true might cause others to become angry and isolate you! Freedom only for certain folks.
· What you do for God’s Kingdom may not count in the angry eyes of others! Judgment.
· When you decide to be a voice of justice and the angry crowd storms the aisles to burn you in effigy! A prophet is not welcome in their hometown.
I want to speak in defense of pastors. I have observed how congregation members view pastors and make these assumptions: 1) Pastors are not human, but automatons. They don’t have feelings. 2) You can say and do anything to them without any repercussions. 3) Pastors are paid to do what we say. 4) Pastors are naturally lazy because they only work one day a week. 5) Pastors seem like they are always on a holiday. 6) Pastors should sacrifice their spouse and kids by throwing them into the volcano of Mount Wannahockaloogie for the church’s benefit!
Exaggeration? Nope! This is the gospel truth. Well, it might be on the extreme edge of being accurate. My point is that the stresses of life, for anyone, increase degree by degree until burnout strikes. Pastors have used and can fully relate to the boil frog story.
If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will of course frantically try to clamber out. But if you place it gently in a pot of tepid water and turn the heat on low, it will float there quite placidly. As the water gradually heats up, the frog will sink into a tranquil stupor, exactly like one of us in a hot bath, and before long, with a smile on its face, it will unresistingly allow itself to be boiled to death. – Daniel Quinn, The Story of B
The boiling frog story is a metaphor cautioning people to be aware of even gradual negative change lest they suffer eventual undesirable consequences.
Dr. Tony Headley’s book, “Reframing Your Ministry,” writes to help pastors see life and ministry with a balanced approach. There is a time for ministry and a time for rest. He gives pastors the permission to “deactivate the guilt button” (Headley, 17). Hallelujah!
Pastors do sacrifice much for God’s Kingdom and glory at the cost of personal health and family. However, church folks like to quote Matthew 16:24-25 when they sense their pastor isn’t pulling their weight, appear lazy, or investing in ministry contrary to their whims.
Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it (Matthew 16:24-25).”
One Jesus’ quote does not speak for the whole truth of God. Multiple scriptures highlight the importance of a balanced and healthy ministry life.
· The Creation story show us how to care for the resources around and within us. Pastors need a rest day. Pastors can’t feed and care for the folk when there is nothing in the bucket.
· Moses and Jethro’s relationship shows us how a minister may delegate and empower others for ministry. Pastors feel it’s easier to do ministry without needing help. They hear the congregation members say, “Let the pastor do it.” However, the reverse is true. Place ministry in the hands of the trained lay leaders. Thanks, Jethro!
· Jesus left the wilderness to start his ministry not by performing miracles and preaching great sermons. He sought out disciples to love, equip and empower them to begin a holy movement in community.
If you feel stressed out and angry at the world, you might be leading an unbalanced life that’s uninspired or unconnected. Chronic stress chokes your energy. Unexpressed hurt comes out as anger or rage. Going it alone in life and ministry entices greater temptations and greater falls from grace (addictions to alcohol, prescription drugs, pornography).
Do you desire to address the chronic stress that causes you to feel angry? Consider these helpful tips: 1) Seek to live a balanced life. 2) Experience a rest day away from work-related stresses. 3) Share or delegate the workload when you are able. 4)Seek and build community (a trusted group of friends) to share love and be loved.
If you are discouraged and find yourself in need of help to guide you through a stressful time or certain anger issues, you are welcome to connect and request an appointment through our website: anniekingcounseling.com.
Annie King Counseling encourages the discouraged and helps people find their way.