“Throughout the Scriptures, people are reminded of their choices and asked to take responsibility for them (Boundaries, 42).” Outside voices influence our decisions based on the “shoulds, oughts and have tos.” The boundary becomes fuzzy when a friend asks, “I don’t have time to finish this job. Will you take over and complete it for me?” You don’t have time either, but you are afraid to say no for fear of the consequences. You feel like you “ought” to do it as a good Christian “should.”

The most basic definition of boundaries is where I end, and where you begin. We can think of our skin as a natural boundary. That is easy to see and easy to define. But there are emotional boundaries too. And saying no is the most direct way of setting a boundary. It has been said that “no” is a complete sentence. Probably a sentence more of us need to get used to using in our lives.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, taken advantage of, resentful, discouraged it might be you have some work to do on setting boundaries.

The Garden of Eden had one tree from which Adam and Eve were not allowed to eat the fruit. Today, we contribute the apple as the appealing fruit. Eve saw the apple was pleasing to the eye and she took a bite. She offered the chosen fruit to Adam. Both enjoyed and their eyes were open. The fallout ensued. I used a negative relationship narrative to highlight how married couples need not implode their relationship with anger, blame or contempt.

Over the course of our lives, we will have many relationships. Friends, co-workers, family members, spouses, and more. Relationships can be life giving and they can be life draining. Boundaries can help us navigate the challenges that all relationships bring and help us to experience the joys of being in relationship as well.

One relationship that doesn’t get a lot of attention is the relationship we have with our adult children.

Where do you go to find spiritual or mental help? Friend, family member or pastor. What if they are too busy? What if you feel you need professional help to turn the corner with your pesky issue?

People need a confidential place to unburden their hearts, minds, and souls. They need a trusted and credentialed pastoral counselor who will listen. If you have a relationship with Jesus Christ, you know and believe he is the source of all wisdom and knowledge. However, when a person only hears annoying static of negative thoughts or layers of hurt that numb the emotions, God’s voice feels absent. It is part of God’s plan to send, at the appointed time, a caring person to listen and walk the healing journey with you.

Moses had Jethro. King David had Nathan the Prophet. Naomi had Ruth. The disciples had Jesus. Who do you have?

Where do you go to find spiritual or mental help? Friend, family member or pastor. What if they are too busy? What if you feel you need professional help to turn the corner with your pesky issue?

People need a confidential place to unburden their hearts, minds, and souls. They need a trusted and credentialed pastoral counselor who will listen. If you have a relationship with Jesus Christ, you know and believe he is the source of all wisdom and knowledge.  However, when a person only hears annoying static of negative thoughts or layers of hurt that numb the emotions, God’s voice feels absent. It is part of God’s plan to send, at the appointed time, a caring person to listen and walk the healing journey with you.

 Moses had Jethro. King David had Nathan the Prophet. Naomi had Ruth. The disciples had Jesus. Who do you have?

Winter is beginning to fade away, although it seems to want to hang on this year, and the additional sunshine may be helping to alleviate your winter blues. Some of you may still be feeling out of sorts or even depressed. Spring brings with it another kind of depression. Some have even suggested that there is more depression in the spring than any other time of year. One reason for this spring depression could be that with the greening of the grass, the hopeful new buds in the trees, and the warming of the air we feel like we should feel happy.

We live in a mad, mad, mad world! Chronic stress may cause a person to do mad things.  Did you recently hear this road rage story? One driver overtook another car that cut him off and caused both to stop. The enraged driver jumped out of the car with a 12-gauge shotgun. He walked up to the seated driver and pointed the gun in his face saying, “Don’t ever cut anyone off again!” Was the driver mad at the man or the world? 

Anger issues? Chronic stress? Obnoxious Personality Disorder (OBD)? Injustice felt or seen? 

It’s tournament time again and March Madness is upon us. If you have had an appointment at our office this winter, you have seen our Kentucky Wildcats flag and our UK wreath hanging prominently by our front door. Kurt and I are proudly a part of the BBN (Big Blue Nation). It is its own kind of madness for sure. And although our season was cut short our loyalty remains firmly intact. Just don’t get me started on Duke.

When we bought our home in 2015, I decided to survey our property in hopes of finding some hidden gems tucked away in all the neglected bushes, scrubs, and renegade honeysuckle.  I snapped back a few old vines and rotten branches in one corner of our property near the alley and I found underneath decomposed debris a 8’x16’ level concrete slab. Who knows why it existed or what it was used for?  It probably had been decades since the original owners (1950’s) built a shed on the site.  And why this location? Later that day I found the hidden Candyland path marked by steppingstones. The stones led from the house to the mystery spot.  These flat and heavy limestone rocks were laid out in a well-spaced manner. The echo of the past footsteps on the smooth tones cried out, “Just follow the path and you will find your way there.” 

Let’s talk about generosity.  Sounds kind of old fashioned, doesn’t it?  Can you think of someone in your life that you would describe as generous?  When I think of generous people I usually think of my husband, Kurt.  He has a way of sharing with others that has always inspired me.  Whether it is offering to help someone in need, giving to a ministry or charity he is passionate about or just showering our family with love and support.  He is a healthy giver and that is what I would like to write about today. 

The music group, Player, sang, “Baby Come Back,” I believe represents Eleanor’s feelings throughout the book.  On the outside Eleanor was a shining star and the life of the party.  However, she wore a mask of false bravado.  She constantly searched for the one elusive perfect moment.

In the video Kate talked about what she called “toxic positivity.”  She was referencing social media and what she describes as “show and tell” for adults.  My cousin, Wendy, when asked if she was on Facebook, answered that question in a comical but very true way when she said, “I don’t have Facebook, I have already lived through Jr. High, and I don’t need to repeat it.”

I don’t know about you, but I am over it!  And by it, I mean the Pandemic, Covid 19, Coronavirus, the Delta and Omicron variants.  All of it.  I have had enough.  I read a funny tweet the other day that said something to this effect, “The fact that we are at the end of 2021 is proof that time flies when you are not having fun.”  Isn’t that true?   In just a few short months we will hit the 2-year mark of the state shut down.  How much have our lives changed?  How much have we lost?  Have we gained some things as well?

For people who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) fall can come with a sense of dread.  Dreading the seemingly endless days without so much as a peek of the sun.  Dread of the dark.  Many of us will go to work in the dark and then return home in the dark.  Dread of being in a perpetual state of cold.  Events that we look forward to being cancelled by bad weather and generally just being stuck inside.

Patricia deals with pandemic-related anxiety. She has feelings of uncertainty and isolation.  How may Patricia be able to cope with this dilemma?  Who can she turn to for help?  What are the best practices that will help her to put into motion what she hears from God?  How does her pastor or respected counselor give counsel and care during this pandemic?

How does depression impact a person’s spirituality? The person may have feelings of fear, hopelessness, and isolation. Some depressed people feel that they have lost their faith. They ask, “I am so afraid I believe I have I lost my faith!” Dark clouds close in around the hopeless soul. It’s like a turbulent Sea of Galilee when the disciples were afraid that they might perish. They woke Jesus up. He calmed the storm saying, “Peace, be still.”

People love to have the hell scared out of them.  Most anyway! October is known for scary movies and haunted houses. Halloween fear drives the creepy industry.  You’ve noticed the stores setting up their Halloween displays right after school starts.  The iconic Halloween image is the Headless Horseman with a carved pumpkin in the rider’s hand chasing down a frightened trick or treater!  

People thrive on fear.

What do you think of when you hear the word fear? Do you think of goosebumps or the way your hair on the back of you neck stands on end while watching a horror movie? Or you’re the beating of your heart while winding your way through a haunted house? How about your sweaty palms and shaky voice as you stand up in front of a group and give your presentation? Or the nausea you feel when taking an important test?

Grief is individual. Grief is as unique as you are. There has never been YOU going through THIS. There is no set precedent. No expectations to meet. There are no requirements, there is no right way to grieve.

If all this is true, why do we so often feel like we are doing it wrong?…